My Hero

Once upon a time in a small town in Oklahoma there once lived a loving mother and father and their two boys. The father, Sir Jason, had left for the day to count great piles of shiny quarters, for that was his job. The mother, Mistress Stephanie, stayed in their cottage and did all jobs domestic.

One of these jobs was the very dreaded duty of laundry. Laundry was the foulest thing in all the land because rearing two boys means that most of the laundry is stained, and stinky and extremely high in volume. As Mistress Stephanie was laboring over shoveling a load of towels into the washer, she remembered that it was summertime in the kingdom. And every good mother knows that in the summertime a small mountain of towels grows in the sunny backyard by the inflatable pool. So Mistress Stephanie went to the backyard.

When she found the small mountain of towels she immediately began to pick them up one by one and shake them out. These towels, which help dry off sopping little boys, were quite littered with grass clippings and leaves.

As she heaved her load inside the cottage she passed her eldest son who has begun his Jedi training, via the Wii. Proud of her little Jedi, she started to put the towels in the washer. As she was putting the last towel in something green caught her eye. At that moment it jumped at her. She let out a scream and slammed the lid to the washer shut. In a trail of hysterics that led to her room, she vividly remembered the cause of her fear.

When Mistress Stephanie was a young lady in waiting on the soccer field they were taking team pictures. Mistress Stephanie, all proud of herself in her new uniform, barely noticed when a fellow teammate came up behind her and opened the back of her shirt. The friend laughed off the gesture under the veil of only "pretending" to put something in her shirt. Moments later Mistress Stephanie almost besmirched her reputation by nearly undressing to get the two inch long grasshopper out of her shirt. Since that fateful day, Mistress Stephanie has been terrified of all things that hop.

Safety hidden under the quilt in her room Mistress Stephanie calls Sir Jason at work. Nearly toppling over a tall pile of shiny quarters from unhinged laughter, Sir Jason kindly tells Mistress Stephanie to just pick the little frog out of the washer and deposit him outside. Indignant of such a foolish notion, Mistress Stephanie barks out a "NO WAY!" and nearly hangs the phone up when Sir Jason suggests to Mistress Stephanie that she employ young Jedi Ben for the task. Fearing that Master Ben was not fearless enough for the task she decided to wait till Sir Jason got home.

After touring the many little mountains of laundry in the hallways, Mistress Stephanie finally decided it would be foolish to wait for Sir Jason to come home. She would at least offer the quest to Master Ben. So she approached her oldest son. Knowing that this might require some careful questioning and prose, she set out on finding if Master Ben harbored the same fear of all things that jump.

"Master Ben," questioned Mistress Stephanie, "Do you like frogs?"
"Yes," answered Master Ben without hesitation.
"If I had a frog right now, would you touch it?" asked Mistress Stephanie.
"Do you have a frog?" countered Master Ben.
With all her cunning, Mistress Stephanie answered, "I might have a frog. Would you touch it?"
"Yes," Master Ben confirmed.
"Then come with me," said Mistress Stephanie.

As they started walking through the cottage, Master Ben turned toward the front door. Mistress took him hand and guided him away from the door. At Master Ben's questioning look she responded, "It's not outside." Mistress Stephanie picked up Master Ben's step stool and guided him to the front of the washer.

Master Ben looked up at her with wide eyes, pointed at the washer, and asked, "It's in THERE?" "Yes," responded the Mistress, "Do you still want the frog?" Master Ben nodded and as soon as he opened the lid to the washer, the Mistress hid behind the doorway in fear waiting to hear his victorious shout when he captured the villianous frog. When no such shout was heard, she peeked her head around the doorway. Master Ben was up to his elbows in wet towels, when he proclaimed, "I can't find him."

Mistress Stephanie gathered more courage, and helped him pull towels out of washer when she saw the frog jump again. She screamed and ran around the corner despite her brave son's questioning glance. Master Ben reached in and victory was his when he pulled out the frog. Mistress Stephanie was all too happy to hold the door open for him as he exited with his new best friend. The laundry was completed, a fast friendship was forged, the brave young Master was declared the most daring in the land, and they all lived happily ever after.

My hero, Master Ben, and proof of this fairy tales validity.